life cleansing v38.8

As May comes to a close I am reminiscent of what I call "life cleansing v38.8" 

I was living in a suburb outside of Chicago, work had moved me there a few years prior from outside Atlanta. How I got to Atlanta or to Chicago are stories for another time so lets stay on task and continue. I was living with someone, no I was "engaged to be married" to someone that had a profound effect on my life. She had helped me through a major life crisis- I had just overcome heart failure for the second time, having received a pacemaker/defibrillator, being placed on copious amounts of Coreg and some good old fashion traditional acupuncture and herbs. I fought hard and won yet again- I just wasn't ready to lay down. I was back on a flood tide and I was pacing the cage. Things between said "fiancé" and I were not all that great so I was nudged to move to Seattle. I gave away my furniture, put what little valuables I had in a storage locker and I packed Mac, my computer, and 2 weeks worth of clothes into my car. 

I drove to Seattle. I purged my life, I turned the page. 

2 months later I flew back to my storage unit with the full intention of packing all my crap in a truck and driving back to Seattle. I get into town, borrow a friends car and head to the storage unit. I open the door and the last thing I packed into the unit was my Stratoliner. Now for a side story- I purchased the Stratoliner on a whim, it was when heart failure was just starting to get the best of me. I had left work for short term disability, was still feeling ok and thought "what the fuck" I didn't want to die not owning a motorcycle. There is more to that story, for another time. So I sit on her, she starts right up,  I back her out of the storage unit, and I look up to the sky. I just sat there, who knows for how long- a minute, or 10, I just sat there. I was alive, and it was because I chose to be alive. I decided right then and there that I would leave everything in storage, pack the bag with a few clothes, and ride from Chicago to Seattle. 

I was … ALIVE